While we were on our 50th anniversary trip the
end of March and early April of this year, we took some time to call family
that we don’t get a chance to talk with on a regular basis. It’s always good to
hear from family. We feel it is important to “tend” to these relationships; time
nor distance should keep us from doing that.
One person we talked with was Dave’s cousin, Tom Dodd. They
grew up in a close relationship and that connection was still strong. Tom had
been having medical difficulties and we wanted to see how he was getting along.
During the course of the conversation, Tom asked, “When are you going to come
see me?” Well, we were in the closing days of a week-long trip and were ready
to get home, so the thought of a trip to southern Missouri wasn’t something we
were ready to give thought to. However, the seed was planted.
When Tom’s wife, Sally, called the first of May to say she
was going to put Tom in hospice, we decided it was time to go see him. We asked
ourselves, “Why wait until he’s gone to attend the funeral?” So we headed out
for a two-day trip to southern Missouri and spent a couple of days visiting
with Tom and his family. We could focus on talking with him and he and Dave
reminisced about the antics they participated in as children. The important questions of life and death
were addressed and Tom assured Dave that things were good between him and God.
After three more days of travel visiting Dave’s siblings and
our youngest daughter in Oklahoma and Missouri, we headed toward home and
stopped again at Tom and Sally’s before the long trip back to Virginia. What we
found was that Tom had deteriorated to the place of not being able to remember
our names—in just three days! We knew it wouldn’t be long before we got notice
of his “home-going.” Indeed, it was only three months later the notification
came from Sally that Tom had passed away—a week after Dave called to wish him
happy 71st birthday. Now Dave will attend the funeral of his cousin
and friend to bring some consolation to bereft family and friends that Tom will
see them again in the “bye and bye.”
As I write this blog, Dave is enroute to Missouri. It’s not
like his travel is a strange experience for me, it’s just different this time.
Dave’s career was (mostly) in sales and he did lots of traveling of long
distances and always enjoyed it. There are those who don’t like to drive but it’s
the opposite with Dave. He enjoys the scenery and listening to worship CD’s.
During all this time, I stayed home and prayed for his well-being while he was
on the road yet very seldom giving traction to worry.
Today was different… I’m not sure if it’s just that we have
grown closer during our retirement and feel more the “oneness” of our 50 years
together or the beginning of worry that I will lose him somewhere out there on
the road. Sally has just lost her husband of 48 years and it wouldn’t be
unusual for that to happen to us. In my usual mode of working out a problem, I
asked the Lord what I should do if I was left alone and He ministered to me
through the music I listen to.
The first song on was “Ain’t No Grave” by Molly Skaggs sung
at Bethel Church in Redding, California. Actually, song and God speaking to me
through it is what motivated me to write this blog. The words of this song “ain’t
no grave gonna hold me down” enlightened me to more than the resurrection of
Jesus and our eventual resurrection to Heaven. I began to understand that
there are many graves that are holding people down with lies like they are “honoring”
the dead or “keeping them alive” or “remembering them with love.” There are graves
that have our spiritual lives so buried that we can only see a little of what is
going on in life or keeps drawing us back to a life of sorrow.
In Matthew 8 there was an interaction with a man who offered
to follow Jesus, “Then another man spoke
up and said, ‘Lord, I’ll follow you, but first I must take care of my aged
father and bury him when he dies.’ But Jesus said to him, ‘Now is the time to
follow me, and let those who are dead bury their own dead.’” (from The
Passion Translation) Was Jesus being insensitive to the cultural duty of caring
for a deceased parent? No, Jesus was telling him that the duties imposed by
culture or religion—which in this case could have been up to a year after the
actual death—can be handled by those who are spiritually dead. This grave was
keeping the man tethered to it with the expectations of others. If we are to be
spiritually alive, we must be willing to follow God when called.
What graves are keeping you attached to them and not allowing
you to be free to follow the Lord? I have the graves of my parents and an
infant son, in addition to many friends, in my past that have been closed over
the dead and I await the opportunity to experience their love again when we are
reunited in Eternity. I’m not indifferent to the loss that their passing caused
me. No, I have surrendered them to their Creator which includes these
relationships and all the “could-have-beens,” the regrets, the “why-wasn’t-it-differents,”
even the happy times that we experience on Earth. It’s explained well in Ephesians 1:9-11 “And through the revelation of the Anointed
One, he unveiled his secret desires to us—the hidden mystery of his long-range
plan, which he was delighted to implement from the very beginning of time. And
because of God’s unfailing purpose, this detailed plan will reign supreme
through every period of time until the fulfillment of all the ages finally
reaches its climax—when God makes all
things new in all of heaven and earth through Jesus Christ. Through our
union with Christ we too have been claimed by God as his own inheritance.
Before we were even born, he gave us our destiny; that we would fulfill the
plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in his heart. (from The
Passion Translation)
So, let’s look at those graves the Holy Spirit brought to
mind when I first asked the question about them. What about the death of a
spouse, a child/children, parent(s), grandparent(s) or even a pet? What about a relationship:
of a friend, a fiancé, a child or a marriage that died? How is this grave keeping
you down? How far “down” are you buried? You can get up and out of that confining spiritual place to walk in
freedom—if you want to. Jesus performed a miracle and raised Lazarus from the grave when He said, "Lazarus, come forth!" Don't you want to experience that kind of a miracle in your life? You have to be willing to give up the situation, and all involved in it, that
brought you to the place of burial so the effect of it on your life can be broken off. That’s
called surrender--which often includes forgiveness of a person or even God. It's a type of laying down your arms and yielding it to Jesus. Don’t
worry—you’ll never forget. That’s not what you’re surrendering. You are giving
up the power that this experience holds over you which is keeping you from being joyful
and living a life of fullness. God’s plan for you was to trust in Him, to be
comforted by His presence, and get you through your pain. The loss wasn’t meant
to inflict pain on you but to give you the opportunity to submit that sorrow caused
by Life to God the Holy Spirit and be comforted by Him.
Ladying for August 13: As
I continue to be ministered to by the worship music, the song “Stand in Your
Love” comes on—“My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in Your love!”
Again, I must surrender my worry and fear, which is what worry is, to God. Only
by giving up my pain and fear do I receive His comfort and complete life to
exist as I was made to – in dependence
on Him not independent from Him.
