COMPETITION

Living in a house with four young boys I observe firsthand what raw competition looks like.  If nothing is going on you can be sure one will bait another with, “That’s mine!” or “You’re a bad boy!” with the inevitable tug-of-words, the back and forth of “No, it’s not!” “Yes, it is!” “No, I’m not!” “Yes, you are!” until one cries or calls for parental assistance.  You’ve witnessed or even participated in it yourself so you know what I’m talking about. It’s intense and emotions get invested quickly and deeply. But that is for children, right?

I’ve been competitive most of my life. In elementary school I was always the fastest—girl anyway—in the Physical Ed class races. I would push my short little legs twice as hard and fast as any “normal” kid until they looked like a rotary beater going round and round. We played “tag” in and out of the trees during recess or lunch; I played with the boys because I thought there were no girls of equal ability. We had interclass games and I remember choosing a pretty blonde-haired girl, that was clearly more “prissy” than athletic  to show my speed prowess against.  Again, it was an opportunity to show that small people, and Kay Walker in particular, could be outstanding in speed and maneuverability. But no one cared but me.

Although I started out larger than average as a 9 lb. newborn, as a 3 year old I had only progressed to wearing a size 18 months.  Being “vertically challenged” my whole life, there has been a subtle competition with a society that caters to the average size person. Petite sizes did come along although they are still 3 inches longer than I need. Extra small (XS) sizes came along a few years ago but they are for the proportionately small all around.  By that time I had begun the aging process of becoming disproportionately larger in girth and shorter in height. (big sigh)

But what is competition all about really?  I mean, sometimes it is fun and everyone gets a big laugh out of it. And, there are times no one is affected and it’s just a personal—an internal—battle.  I’ve seen competition show up when people are driving on the road, in cutting, sarcastic “humor”, in children’s drawings or role play with dolls or acting out badly in public.  And, when I observe it in others, I always get an uncomfortable feeling. Something just isn’t right about it. Have you been there? Have you felt it too? Competition seems to tear holes in the fiber of relationship, even in the way you think and feel about yourself.  It’s a “me against whoever/whatever”.  And that is where the problem lies, at least for us who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ. 

We have been in churches that are small group based for the past 37 years learning the ‘ins and outs’ of relationships. We experienced new lives being born and making families from a couple. We survived illnesses and death sapping and robbing life from us as well as other comrades in the journey. We learned that being in relationship with others isn’t an easy road to travel but the scenery along the way is beautiful. Relationships are sometimes messy but bring such joy when everyone pitches in to clean it up. There are heavy-duty bear hugs and tender hand touches, words difficult to hear and tears sweetened by forgiveness , comforting scriptures and encouraging words and guidance, all binding us together in the love of God.

Ladying for November 12, 2014: "In a Holy Spirit-led relationship or person, there is no room for selfish competition. We are who God made us to be and, guided by the Holy Spirit, we are greater than anything we could think up for ourselves anyway."