ARE YOU ALREADY IN THE GRAVE?

While we were on our 50^th anniversary trip the end of March and early April of this year, we took some time to call family that we don’t get a chance to talk with on a regular basis. It’s always good to hear from family. We feel it is important to “tend” to these relationships; time nor distance should keep us from doing that.

One person we talked with was Dave’s cousin, Tom Dodd. They grew up in a close relationship and that connection was still strong. Tom had been having medical difficulties and we wanted to see how he was getting along. During the course of the conversation, Tom asked, “When are you going to come see me?” Well, we were in the closing days of a week-long trip and were ready to get home, so the thought of a trip to southern Missouri wasn’t something we were ready to give thought to. However, the seed was planted.

When Tom’s wife, Sally, called the first of May to say she was going to put Tom in hospice, we decided it was time to go see him. We asked ourselves, “Why wait until he’s gone to attend the funeral?” So we headed out for a two-day trip to southern Missouri and spent a couple of days visiting with Tom and his family. We could focus on talking with him and he and Dave reminisced about the antics they participated in as children.  The important questions of life and death were addressed and Tom assured Dave that things were good between him and God.

After three more days of travel visiting Dave’s siblings and our youngest daughter in Oklahoma and Missouri, we headed toward home and stopped again at Tom and Sally’s before the long trip back to Virginia. What we found was that Tom had deteriorated to the place of not being able to remember our names—in just three days! We knew it wouldn’t be long before we got notice of his “home-going.” Indeed, it was only three months later the notification came from Sally that Tom had passed away—a week after Dave called to wish him happy 71^st birthday. Now Dave will attend the funeral of his cousin and friend to bring some consolation to bereft family and friends that Tom will see them again in the “bye and bye.”

As I write this blog, Dave is enroute to Missouri. It’s not like his travel is a strange experience for me, it’s just different this time. Dave’s career was (mostly) in sales and he did lots of traveling of long distances and always enjoyed it. There are those who don’t like to drive but it’s the opposite with Dave. He enjoys the scenery and listening to worship CD’s. During all this time, I stayed home and prayed for his well-being while he was on the road yet very seldom giving traction to worry.

Today was different… I’m not sure if it’s just that we have grown closer during our retirement and feel more the “oneness” of our 50 years together or the beginning of worry that I will lose him somewhere out there on the road. Sally has just lost her husband of 48 years and it wouldn’t be unusual for that to happen to us. In my usual mode of working out a problem, I asked the Lord what I should do if I was left alone and He ministered to me through the music I listen to.

The first song on was “Ain’t No Grave” by Molly Skaggs sung at Bethel Church in Redding, California. Actually, song and God speaking to me through it is what motivated me to write this blog. The words of this song “ain’t no grave gonna hold me down” enlightened me to more than the resurrection of Jesus and our eventual resurrection to Heaven. I began to understand that there are many graves that are holding people down with lies like they are “honoring” the dead or “keeping them alive” or “remembering them with love.” There are graves that have our spiritual lives so buried that we can only see a little of what is going on in life or keeps drawing us back to a life of sorrow.

In Matthew 8 there was an interaction with a man who offered to follow Jesus, “Then another man spoke up and said, ‘Lord, I’ll follow you, but first I must take care of my aged father and bury him when he dies.’ But Jesus said to him, ‘Now is the time to follow me, and let those who are dead bury their own dead.’” (from The Passion Translation) Was Jesus being insensitive to the cultural duty of caring for a deceased parent? No, Jesus was telling him that the duties imposed by culture or religion—which in this case could have been up to a year after the actual death—can be handled by those who are spiritually dead. This grave was keeping the man tethered to it with the expectations of others. If we are to be spiritually alive, we must be willing to follow God when called.

What graves are keeping you attached to them and not allowing you to be free to follow the Lord? I have the graves of my parents and an infant son, in addition to many friends, in my past that have been closed over the dead and I await the opportunity to experience their love again when we are reunited in Eternity. I’m not indifferent to the loss that their passing caused me. No, I have surrendered them to their Creator which includes these relationships and all the “could-have-beens,” the regrets, the “why-wasn’t-it-differents,” even the happy times that we experience on Earth.  It’s explained well in Ephesians 1:9-11 “And through the revelation of the Anointed One, he unveiled his secret desires to us—the hidden mystery of his long-range plan, which he was delighted to implement from the very beginning of time. And because of God’s unfailing purpose, this detailed plan will reign supreme through every period of time until the fulfillment of all the ages finally reaches its climax—when God makes all things new in all of heaven and earth through Jesus Christ. Through our union with Christ we too have been claimed by God as his own inheritance. Before we were even born, he gave us our destiny; that we would fulfill the plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in his heart. (from The Passion Translation)

So, let’s look at those graves the Holy Spirit brought to mind when I first asked the question about them. What about the death of a spouse, a child/children, parent(s), grandparent(s) or even a pet? What about a relationship: of a friend, a fiancé, a child or a marriage that died? How is this grave keeping you down? How far “down” are you buried? You can get up and out of that confining spiritual place to walk in freedom—if you want to. Jesus performed a miracle and raised Lazarus from the grave when He said, "Lazarus, come forth!" Don't you want to experience that kind of a miracle in your life? You have to be willing to give up the situation, and all involved in it, that brought you to the place of burial so the effect of it on your life can be broken off. That’s called surrender--which often includes forgiveness of a person or even God. It's a type of laying down your arms and yielding it to Jesus. Don’t worry—you’ll never forget. That’s not what you’re surrendering. You are giving up the power that this experience holds over you which is keeping you from being joyful and living a life of fullness. God’s plan for you was to trust in Him, to be comforted by His presence, and get you through your pain. The loss wasn’t meant to inflict pain on you but to give you the opportunity to submit that sorrow caused by Life to God the Holy Spirit and be comforted by Him.

Ladying for August 13: As I continue to be ministered to by the worship music, the song “Stand in Your Love” comes on—“My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in Your love!” Again, I must surrender my worry and fear, which is what worry is, to God. Only by giving up my pain and fear do I receive His comfort and complete life to exist as I was made to – in dependence on Him not independent from Him.